Discipline Isn’t About Control; It’s About Growth: Reaching the Most Challenging Students

With over 30 years of experience in education, I’ve witnessed countless research studies, behavioral programs, and strategies come and go. Yet, despite all the advancements, the same behavioral challenges in schools persist today as they did a century ago. The reality is that these challenges often stem from a small percentage of students whose unique needs drive the majority of disruptions. Addressing these students’ growth rather than overhauling entire systems is key.

Discipline is one of the most misunderstood aspects of education. For decades, it has been synonymous with control—enforcing rules, maintaining order, and ensuring compliance. However, true discipline isn’t about control; it’s about growth. It’s about helping students develop the skills, mindset, and emotional intelligence needed to navigate life’s challenges constructively. Instead of asking, “How do we fix behavior?” we should ask, “What does this student need to grow?”

One of the most damaging things we can do as educators is label traits like arguing, questioning, or stubbornness as “bad” traits. When a student is told that these behaviors are negative, they often internalize this message and begin to see themselves as “bad.” In reality, these traits can be incredibly powerful when channeled correctly. Traits like questioning and arguing can be foundations for critical thinking, problem-solving, and leadership when approached with the right mindset.

This does not mean that students are not accountable for their actions. Accountability is essential in fostering growth. Consequences play an important role, but the synergy between accountability and helping students grow and improve creates a powerful dynamic. By teaching students how to channel their behaviors constructively, we provide them with the tools they need to succeed and turn potential obstacles into strengths. Simply labeling behaviors as “bad” without offering pathways for growth only reinforces negative patterns and limits their potential.

This keynote provides a revolutionary shift in how we view and respond to students with low agreeableness—those who may exhibit traits like defiance, impulsivity, and stubbornness. These traits often clash with the cooperative nature of highly agreeable teachers, leading to frustration and misunderstandings. This session reframes these behaviors as strengths and equips educators with tools to transform challenges into opportunities for growth and success.

Key Takeaways:

• Understand Low Agreeableness as a Personality Trait, Not a Problem: Learn how traits like impulsivity, defiance, and stubbornness often reflect personality, not misconduct or trauma, and how to embrace these traits rather than fight them.
• Harness the Power of the Pygmalion Effect: Discover how high expectations and a belief in students’ potential can transform even the most challenging behaviors into leadership, resilience, and creativity.
• Apply Educere: Drawing Out Hidden Potential: Use the principle of educere—”to draw out”—to unlock the latent strengths, talents, and abilities within low-agreeableness students, helping them become confident, self-assured, and resilient learners.
• Reframe Disruptive Behaviors into Strengths: Turn argumentative tendencies into opportunities for critical thinking and respectful dialogue. Channel stubbornness into determination and grit. Harness impulsivity for creativity and hands-on learning.
• Build Strong Relationships That Foster Growth: Learn strategies to connect with low-agreeableness students, build trust and rapport, and create a classroom environment that celebrates individuality while maintaining clear, achievable expectations.
• Transform Classroom Management: Shift from traditional compliance-based strategies to collaboration-focused methods. Move beyond reward systems and build intrinsic motivation, helping students thrive in an inclusive environment.

The Pygmalion Effect and educere form the heart of this approach. With high expectations and a belief in students’ potential, behaviors that once seemed like obstacles become stepping stones to success. This session arms educators with practical strategies to engage and empower all students, especially those who often feel misunderstood.

By the end of this keynote, educators will walk away equipped with actionable tools to transform their classroom dynamics, boost their own resilience, and foster an inclusive, empowering classroom environment where every student has the opportunity to shine.